Q: Did you know my brain is shrinking? A: I;m not surprised.

THE QUOTESBOOK

"I have a key." "We should sneak in there and do it." "They have cameras." "We'll wear masks." "What if they recognize my ass?"

"On one hand it is all very flattering and on the other my ego demands it, so it all works out."

"You ain't in control unless you outta control!"

"The Fast And The Furious 2" - brilliant movie

"I'm going to have a snack and then go back to prison."

"He's like the human incarnation of Clear Channel."

re: Ryan Seacrest

"They're kicking back." "Yeah, just chillaxing."

"It was an Asian hip-hop night. You know, where Asians act like Black people instead of White people."

"I feel like I have a monster in my ass." "Oh yeah, that is your piriformis." "...My what?"

"It's all about diet, exercise and stool softener."

"That's cool, if she want's to chop off my arm I still got three more."

"They have boxing gloves at Bed, Bath & Beyond? That makes sense. File that under Beyond."

"i almost got a motel room once to shit in."

"it's like being newly born, but forever."

bonus points for anyone who can figure this out.
ps. it's gross

"I think that Alex Trebek might be one of my favorite people."

"nobody wants to fuck a talking cock"