"crying's no big deal. i mean, you can cry just from taking a shit, right?"

"dang, look at all those gay flags at that flag store. wait, i don't think that's a flag store. i think they're just suuuuuper gay."

"His military outfits are a bit Michael Jackson, a bit Cirque du Soleil."

"The waiter looks like Qadafi with Bozo hair sewn to his hat."