"My friend Treasure is drinking a Space Pussy"

THE QUOTESBOOK

"If a naked woman has a shaved head, it's basically like she's just put all her clothes back on."

The stiches come out tomorrow, but I don't see why you can't start denying him sex as early as next week.

"Please don't do that. I actually want to touch you later."

"there's never just a good, straight, white guy to talk to."

"I heard he's half gay, and half not gay."

"That liquor store looks like a library. Oh, it is a library."

"Man, it would be so cool to be a marsupial. I mean, why do you think people are so into hoodies?"

"I want to get rolfed so bad!" "My girlfriend rolfs me every night."

"pretend that's your anus and i'll show you what i learned."

"I have a wide range. Most cute things with a vagina are in my range."

"Where do you get the smell of human putrescence?" "Home-Depot."

"her pussy looks like Groucho Marx."

"I was watching the worst movie last night: Bloodsport." "Wait, do you mean the really good movie, Bloodsport?"

"i can't wait to be all like 'go away crack-whores. crack is NOT back.'"

"sometimes i used to cut all of jainies butt-hair."

"This trance music is giving me bowel-disfunction."

"you need to slap your girlfriend." "which one?" "whichever one you want, that's the point of having a harem."

"he's gonna do a wicked 4-hour Whitney Houston set." "is that pre-bobby?" "oh yeah, the good stuff."

"this is like BevMo on wheels, without the wheels."

"my back hurts. i think i'm raving too hard."