"There was a rumor for a while that I might be one of those penises."

"Typically you don't have to pay meters on Sunday... Cause that's the day God rested."

"Ha ha, i get it, 'Will He Bang Her in the Chocolate Factory'. (pause) So is it like an anal film?"

"Today we are going to speak like adults." "Weawy?"

"You can't put a price-tag on anal pleasure. You either want something up your butt, or you don't."

That's right bitches! I'm Back!

Oh, are you sure? I had always thought Ooah was black.

Some chic to Krads at the Chinese New Year party in SF

"At first I wasn't going to give into the guy with the stump-arm. Then he started doing tricks with it. Now I wanna hang out."

"You can pretty much tell exactly how I'm doing by the size of my ass."

"if there's black chicks in the video.....it's pretty much a 50/50 that the hair will come off."

re: AFV

"hey, it worked for Wesley Snipes in "To Wong Foo'."

re: dressing like a woman

"a lot of people seem to say they "found" themselves through karaoke. they're usually big fat people or huge losers, but still."