"there's something about Vegas and crack-rash that go together."

"kentucky is the new israel"

"kentucky pretty much dominates hollywood"

"push my buttons, i'll make noises too!"

"i'm burbing spaghetti-o's."

"why have change when you can have Slim Jim's?"

"i'm in the upper eschelon of the l.a. social scene"

"tallahassee is jew friendly"

"damn right i do the funky-chicken"

"if he was a cartoon his eyebrows would be off his head"

"i have a memory of too much salami"

"going to burning man is, like, lamer than following Phish"

"i think i might've fixed it this time, but i need to take off the pants to be sure."

"i hate bugs. except for Bug, but he's my boyfriend."

"we want a lot of lasers at our wedding"

yes, my friend damon actually said this. and he's serious. the wedding is next year. lasers in full effect.

"chedder-cheese challange!"

"oh shit. i was about to wear this shirt. i can't wear this shirt now. we'd be faggots."

says Jill

"you're like the mohammad ali of socializing"

"im drunk, period, bbq tomorrow, period, america, comma, fuck yeah!"

again, tracy, the wise one. this is his verbatim of a text message to his brother.

"i'll drink that....whatever it is"

brian's lagging on posting but i think i get credit for this one

"I'd much rather go to this wedding than my brothers."

overheard...